kandas-adventures

FIRST Lego League Robotics

What do suburban kids with engineer dads do for fun?  They join a FIRST Lego League Robotics Team!  Little K doesn't have an engineer dad, but she likes to build things, so I encouraged her to check out the team.  There was a lot of interest, so names were drawn to determine who would make the team.  8 names were pulled from a bag and Little K was the last name drawn.  All the others on the team were boys.  And surprise, surprise, most of their dads were engineers!

Using specialized kits designed by Lego specifically for competition, the kids built a robot with a programmable "brain" and various electric motors.  Programming language was learned on the computer, mathematical calculations were honed, and degrees of turns were determined.  There were over a dozen "Missions" to be completed on the mat: push that lever and retrieve those items; scoop those things and deposit them there; knock that and pick up this; hook this and flip that.  

What was the most efficient way to accomplish as many tasks as possible?  Design an arm for the robot, a scooper, and a rake.  Tweak the programming.  Try it again.  Try it for the 98th time.  Eventually, some small success... quick - save that program and don't let anyone adjust it further!

We met in someone's garage 2 nights a week for several months.  Closer to the competition we were meeting 3 to 4 nights a week.  It was INTENSE.  First of all, at times it felt like there were "too many cooks in the kitchen."  All these brilliant young minds, all eager to be THE ONE to perfect the programs before anyone else.  It was hard to keep them working as a team, and not in competition with each other.

And then there were the dads, of which I was one (honorarily -- my husband had NO interest in volunteering for this circus).  After 5 years with Girl Scouts, I thought boys must surely be less chatty and easier to lead that girls.  They all had an intense interest in the subject matter, so certainly they'd be attentive, right?  Oh my, was I wrong.  There were several boys on the team who were nonstop talkers and would not listen when the coach was giving instruction.  There was pushing and shoving.  There was yelling and throwing.  I spent most of the time biting my tongue, waiting for the dads to take command and bring the boys in line.  Finally, one night, when a group of boys was having a shouting match while the coach was giving important instructions about the upcoming competition, I lost it.  I rose from my chair and told those boys how disrespectful they were being.  One boy looked like he was going to cry.  There was complete silence after that, and I felt bad for dressing them down, but the coach resumed speaking and the rest of the meeting went smoothly.

Part of the competition is a research project, which unfortunately took a lot of time and wasn't all that relative.  The task was to identify a food safety issue and "invent" something to correct it.  The invention could be totally ridiculous, and for our team, it was.  After much argument, the team decided on raw sushi fish and how to keep it from colonizing with bacteria, especially at conveyor belt sushi bars.  We had to take a field trip to a restaurant for research.  I thought it was rather hilarious that we had a spanish-speaking sushi "chef" talking to the kids -- his command of English was quite poor, and he had no idea how to answer most of the questions the kids had prepared.  Anyhow, the "invention" the kids came up with was a laser "pen" that could be shined on the fish to show if bacteria was present.  They didn't have to actually make such a thing, just think it up, and of course explain it to the judges at the competition. 

So here are the kids during their presentation to the judges at the competition.  They had to present in a skit form, and they pretended to be in the "Cash Cab" TV game show answering food safety questions.  The judges were not impressed.  Oh well, neither was I, really.  What a waste of time and a motivational nightmare for the coaches.  The kids get enough scientific study in school -- 9 and 10 year olds sign up for robotics club to build and program robots, not to research bacteria and food contamination, and write and create a presentation about it.  Sorry, but that's my opinion. 

The morning of the competition each team met with judges for 3 different elements: teamwork exercise, scientific project presentation, and robot design and programming evaluation.  Above the kids are being drilled about their robot design and the programming.  The judges are trying to determine if the kids did ALL of the work, or had too much help from parents, and given how much the robot crashed and ran into the wall, I'd say there was no doubt there.

In the afternoon each team had 3 chances to complete as many "missions" as possible in a 2.5 minute time frame.

Surprisingly, our team scored right about in the middle among all the teams.

The event went from 8am until 5pm, and there was a lot of waiting around for our team's turn.  There was no shortage of electronic entertainment, though, as kids passed around iPads and iPhones and NintendoDS games.  This photo was taken late in the day, just before the awards ceremony.  The kids are huddled around one of the last devices to still have battery life after a long day.

Eventually it was over.  I can't tell you how relieved I was that the team did not advance to the regionals.  There was one "team" there of 2 boys, brothers I suspect, and of course they won awards and advanced.  I thought it must have been so much easier for them to get things done, and what a miracle it was that we accomplished as much having to mediate 10 busy minds to who all wanted to do things their own way.

Little K says she's done with robotics.  Never wants to do it again.  I think that's a shame.  She still loves building things.  Still enjoys robots.  Still is interested in programming.  She'd just rather work independently, or with her best friend (a boy from the team), without all the arguing and competition of a "team" setting.

In middle school there is an after school robotics club.  You can choose to be on the competitive team, or just build and program on your own for fun.  Maybe she'll reconsider when she gets to middle school and spend time in robotics again.  She's good at it, so I hope she will.

Fourth Grade Market Day

Part of the new 4th grade curriculum provides greater focus on financial literacy.  The kids do "chores" in the classroom and receive fake money.  Several times a year they are able to spend their "money" on small toys parents donate to the cause, but the shopping event they look forward to the most is "Market Day."  All the fourth grade students make things at home, with help from their families, to sell on market day.  

Little K made crayons and clay "aliens" with glow-in-the-dark eyes.  She sold 104 crayons and 23 aliens during the one hour event.

I loved these yarn Tomtar ornaments this Swedish boy was selling.  So did everyone else... he sold out in about 10 minutes.

The kids were encouraged to set their own pricing, which would be analyzed after the sale to see if it affected how well things sold.  Some things sold well, others not so much.

The paper airplane vendor had brisk sales.

These popscicle stick boxes sold surprisingly well.

Clamshell candles were a good item for kids to buy to give as holiday gifts to mom or grandma, though most kids passed them by in favor of toys or food they could use immediately.  Little K bought a candle for herself and now she wants to make them.

This child had drawn pictures of famous places and had them laminated into placemats.

Parents and staff were given some fake money to spend and asked to visit the kids who weren't having brisk sales, and encourage them by buying something.  A couple classes of younger kids were able to come in for a few minutes and spend a few fake dollars as well.  It was a crazy hour.  At one point Little K burst into tears because she was so flustered with keeping track of her inventory (they had to mark down on a tally sheet each item sold), making change, and dealing with the throng of customers around her table.  Every time she wanted to put up her "Closed" sign so she could go shopping herself, another crowd of people arrived at her table.  She did get a brief time to shop, but her goal for next time (there's another market day in spring), is to make less items so she sells out fast, and has more time to shop.  Maybe not the wisest business decision, but she feels flush with cash from being so helpful to her teacher in the classroom, so she's not that concerned about earning money at market day.  

The lessons of business and life balance are being learned early here.

Tenth Birthday -- party edition

Little K wanted a birthday party with a few friends, so I obliged her with a simple party at home.  It wasn't the grand celebration that Little K had initially fantasized about, but she was happy regardless.

The girls did sketching and felt flower necklace making while the guests arrived.

Toss the candies in the bowls! 

Race to gather up the balloons!

dig for little plastic animals in a jar of rice.

Snack consisted of popcorn, apple slices, and cheese.

Here two of the girls look at photos of bald-headed Little K as a baby.  In the background A is dancing.  Totally spontaneous was a unanimous request from the girls for music.  A brought the "boom box" down from her room and they put in a CD of world music.

K reads aloud a wonderful book she received for her birthday.

I made cupcakes, which I filled with banana custard, and topped with chocolate frosting.   It was a great little party.  Happy 10th Birthday, Little K!

Tenth Birthday -- American Girl Doll Edition

Little K turned 10 recently.  She missed out on having a party the last two years, and this birthday was significant, so this time she was absolutely going to have a party.  She started planning for it months in advance.  I think it was just after Christmas that she started dreaming and scheming, pouring over party supply catalogs, reading party planning books, and playing around with themes.

Over the months, and then weeks, and then days (and even hours!) leading up to the big day, she went back and forth on what to do.  Hawaiian Theme?  Monkey Theme?  American Girl Doll Party, perhaps at the newly opened store in our area? We decided to split her celebration up.  On her actual birthday a local doll museum was having a birthday celebration of their own, with cake, activities, and prizes.  K invited a close friend who was also interested in dolls (not all girls are these days), and of course her sister, and we went there in the afternoon.

The museum is huge, and an absolute treasure trove of dolls and miniatures.  Sadly, it will be closing soon, after nearly 20 years.  Like so many non-profits and small businesses, it just can't generate enough revenue to pay the bills anymore.  Our visit was bittersweet, as it could be our last.

After our time at the museum, we headed to the new American Girl store.  Little K had been wanting a second doll (She already has one that I didn't think she played with all that often), and tons of accessories, all of which are frightfully expensive.  In the weeks prior to her birthday she came up with an enormous "wish list" of what she wanted, and if you totalled up all the items, it was in the thousands of dollars.  Instead of buying it for her, I told her that she had to use her OWN MONEY, and suddenly she was faced with prioritizing and asking herself what she truly wanted. 

The day before her birthday a new catalog came in the mail, and the wish list grew even longer.  A card dropped out of the catalog touting a new, free "personal shopper" service at the store.  I'd never used a personal shopper before, but I called and made a reservation for one, because I thought Little K could agonize over her decisions with a salesperson instead of me.  Then I wouldn't be the bad guy if she had any regrets!  It turned out to be a great experience.  The personal shopper looked at Little K's list, heard what her budget was, and then took Little K around the store to personally inspect everything on the list.  Boxes were opened, little accessories were oohed and aahhed over, and the personal shopper was so good about asking Little K her feelings about having 5 of those vs. 2 of these, and helping her prioritize.  There was no pressure, and she really took the time to learn HOW Little K played with her dolls and what she would most enjoy.

In the end Little K chose the limited edition "Doll of the Year" and a matching girl's dress.  The personal shopper had spent almost an hour with us, and after we left would have the task of reshelving and repacking all the items she'd shown to Little K.  I felt slightly guilty, since K's budget wasn't extravagant compared to a lot of the girls that come in to shop and have their birthday parties in the store.  It was a really good experience though, and A is planning to come shopping there next month when she turns 12 ( she didn't buy anything on this visit -- she's saving her money -- good girl!).

Instead of eating in the doll store's "Bistro," which was too pink and girly for the rest of the family, we headed over to The Old Spaghetti Factory where we joined Daddy and Grammy for K's birthday dinner.

Little K opened the cards that had come in the mail, and a few more little gifts from relatives far away.  I gave her a set of charcoal pencils and this excellent sketching book, because she loves to draw.  She also received a personalized lunch box from my cousin, a bookstore gift certificate, and a game from her sister.  The waiters came and sang to her, we ate ice cream, and the day was coming to a close.

It was a good birthday!

10 Years

09.11.01  

This is where I was ten years ago when I heard the news.  Holding newborn K in the hospital.  It was hard to process the joy of new life in my arms with the loss of innocent life on the other side of the country.
 Turned out to be a fast track to a whopping case post-partum depression for me.  I remember sitting up at night, hearing the fighter jets patrolling overhead, and the silence that followed, because of the complete absence of commercial airliners that we usually heard.  I remember how beautifully sunny and warm the days were, but feeling all dark and cold inside.  I remember going through the motions of motherhood, while trying to keep my emotions under control.  I wanted to completely disconnect from the horrors of the news, but with motherhood comes such a hyper-awareness of the world into which we've brought children.  I thought of mothers all over the world, especially those suffering in truly war-torn countries, and I tried to count my blessings, but I felt guilty instead. 

Ten years on, the world is different in some ways, and very much the same in others.   

Every year on the anniversary of 9/11 I watch the documentary film 9/11.  I watch it alone.  It always make me cry.  I haven't shown it to the children yet.  Little K, for one, cannot stand any violence whatsoever, even in Disney films.  She will not be ready to see it for awhile.  I will probably begin with showing her this excellent program which recently aired, and is made especially for young kids.  Maybe today, if I can find the courage.

Homeschool Pass

Today I turn my children back over to school.  They'll join their friends, file into the building, and six hours later they'll come shuffling out with new bits of knowledge in their brains.

Before the girls started school I seriously considered homeschooling.  I attended a homeschool support group, followed the homeschool list-servs, and read homeschool magazines.  There was even a blog or two about homeschooling back in 2003 that I kept up with.

When the girls were young I loved our unstructured days.  Sure, there were three meals and two snacks a day, nap time, reading time, a daily walk, and bedtime that was our framework, but there was also flexibility.  I could pack a lunch if we wanted to take a field trip.  The girls could nap in the car, on a blanket under a tree, in my arms, or in the stroller.  We could go to museums and events when they first opened in the morning, before the crowds came.  We could spend all day that the aquarium if we wanted to, reading all the little signs, touching everything in the touch tank, and watching our favorite animals without being hurried along to keep up with a group of other kids.

 
I admit to also liking the control I had over my daughter's experiences.  They didn't know about Barbies, they hadn't heard from peers that vegetables were "yucky," and they didn't clamor to have "the latest" in toys and fashions.  I chose their toys with care, fed them nutritious meals, and let them linger over creative projects without rushing them on to the next activity.  

As preschoolers, the girls attended a classical Montessori program a few hours a week.  Like our home life, there was some structure, but also a lot of opportunity for self direction and exploration.  If Little K wanted to sort beads for an hour she could.  If she wanted to complete a variety of tasks in quick succession, she could do that instead.  The choice was hers.

 
Once we got into the rhythm of Montessori, I considered continuing past preschool, into Montessori elementary.  Unfortunately it would have cost $10,000 a year per child, which was just too expensive for us.

When it came time for A to enter kindergarten, I was reintroduced to the elementary school my stepdaughter had attended.  It was a few blocks from our house, and just happened to be one of the best schools in the ENTIRE state.  It was worth investigating, for sure.

The school itself is a traditional public school.  There is standardized testing, a lot of time is spent transitioning them from one actitity to another, there is "busywork" that isn't necessarily educational or creative, and there is a strict schedule.  After the freedom of Montessori, it was a bit of challenge for my girls to adjust to being told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and when to stop doing it because the clock said it was time to do something else.  But they adjusted.

As time went by I learned that the school was more than just curriculum, teachers, and national rankings.  What made the school exceptional was the same thing that made our neighborhood so wonderful: diversity.  The school was filled with children from other countries, and their parents who came into the classroom to volunteer.  There were families from India, Japan, Mexico, Germany, Korea, Russia, Cameroon, Brazil, Puerto Rico, Italy, China, Iran, Norway, Kenya, England, the Netherlands, Israel, and more.  There were dozens of languages spoken, dozens of religions practiced, and a wide range of family structures and values in the homes of students.  The school also houses a special needs program, so there are students with various challenges, both physical and mental, sitting side by side with all the other students.  My daughter Little K has developed an affinity for those in need, kids who are struggling, lonely, or have mannerisms that send the other kids running in the opposite direction.  She volunteers to sit next to and calm the child who is crying, she demands that the girl with Down Syndrome be included in the game at recess.  Would she have the opportunity to practice compassion like this, on a daily basis, if she were at home with me?  I doubt it. 

 
My daughters learned as much from their peers as they did from their teachers, and it wasn't all bad.  Yes, they learned about Barbies.  And video games, and Spongebob, and McDonalds.   But they also learned that seaweed or curry was a perfectly acceptable brown bag lunch, that respecting the teacher the way their Korean classmates did was totally cool, and that the boy who doesn't speak English but draws great illustrations can be a good friend and fun to hang out with.  

My daughters befriended children they might not have met if they were in a $10,000 a year Montessori school, or a small homeschool group.  And they've learned more than I could ever teach them.

One of the most important reasons that I don't homeschool is that I could never provide them with the wealth of experiences that they get at school.  Perhaps our school is unique, but I love that specialty educators are brought into the school to teach some subjects in depth, and very hands-on.  Above, a visiting scientist dissects a salmon, and passes the organs around on paper plates for the kids to examine and sketch.  This is something I would NOT be doing at home!

Reflecting back on A's 6 years at this elementary school I'm in awe of all the experiences she's had.  Incredible science labs, business and math made relevant, field trips with "aha!" moments, programs that built over weeks of practice into events that inspire careers. Many of them I have volunteered to be a part of, so I've seen how well they've been run.  

I have nothing against homeschooling, if it's done responsibly (as in not letting the kid just stay home and watch TV all day, and never learn to read).  If I lived in an isolated area, or where the schools were dangerous, I'm sure I could rise to the occasion and teach my daughters important and necessary life skills. And who knows, maybe in a few years online high school will be an attractive option for our family -- I know there are some amazing new programs out there for homeschoolers.

For now, I'm happy to send my children off to school.   I'm a little nervous about A heading to middle school today, but hey, by some miracle I survived a decaying, overcrowded, violence-plagued urban middle school.  She'll survive, too.  And if not, there's always homeschooling, I suppose...

 

Goodbye Girl Scouts?

It's summer camp season, and our local Girl Scout camp has something they call "Core Camp" where troops of girls come with their moms and leaders, and the newly trained camp staff try out their programming on the girls before real camp begins the following week.  It's a great opportunity to relive the summer camp experience with your daughter.  It's so much easier for the leader than typical troop camping because all the meals are provided, all the activities planned, and your troop doesn't have to find a trained outdoor skills specialist and a trained first aider to bring along.  Those last two are the hardest -- if you don't have two parents in your troop willing to go through all the training and get the certification, then you have to beg to borrow people from other troops, or bribe a college age Girl Scout to come along.

We almost didn't go because of a new rule that each troop needs to have 2 registered adults attending, no matter how few girls.  I was bringing my 2 daughters and 2 girls from Little K's troop, for a ratio of 1 to 4, which is better than the summer camp ratio of 1 to 8.  Before I signed up, months ago, I spoke with the camp director and said it would be just me with the four girls, and to please match us up with another troop that wanted to bring extra adults.  Often camp has to limit adults for these events, because so many want to do a "mom and me" experience, but the camp wants to keep beds available so more girls can attend.  It's not unusual to hear leaders grousing about only being able to bring 2 adults, when all the moms want to come for this easy camp out.  All the meals provided, no dishes to wash, daughter entertained by others, hot showers... what mom wouldn't want to come "camping?"

The camp director said, "No problem!"  The camp would be fully staffed, there'd be at least 2 counselors in our unit at all times, plus lots of other camp staff on site.  Two weeks before camp started, someone in the Girl Scout council office with too much time on her hands noticed that our troop had just 1 adult registered, and decided to give me a hard time.  We went back and forth, with her threatening that we couldn't come without finding a second adult, but not allowing me to make contact with any of the other troop leaders who were registered for the session.  And she wouldn't contact them on my behalf because it was my problem, not hers.

Meanwhile the camp director deferred to council, because they are her boss, but the camp unit assignments were sent out and I found that I was paired in a unit with another troop of 10 girls and 5 parents, plus 3 staff counselors.  That made 9 adults to 14 girls.  Sounds like a good ratio to me.   

Unfortunately, it wasn't good enough for the woman at council.  Supervision of MY girls was NOT the responsibility of OTHER adults, she said.  Again, it was MY problem, and I needed to find a second adult or not come.

She left one last threatening phone message for me at noon the day of camp, when check in was at 3pm.  Well I was going to camp, and someone there would have to turn us away.  I had the other two girls' moms come along to camp check-in, so they'd be there if we were asked to leave... but I wasn't going to leave without a big scene.  If some girls cried, all the better.  I was ready.

When we checked in, the camp director, who I know from years of coming to camp, welcomed us.  No problem, just like she told me months ago.  We met the 3 wonderful counselors in our unit, the other troop moms, and the other troop of girls quickly folded my 4 into their circle.  It was one big happy family, just as I knew it would be.

That woman from council who gave me such a hard time?  Surprise! She was at camp!  She was there with her own troop!  You would think, the kindly thing to do two weeks ago when she discovered we only had one adult, would have been for her to say, "I'll be there, you can stay in my unit and we'll make sure your girls can come."  But she had another agenda...

I only learned that that woman was at camp because I heard other people complaining about her.  Apparently she was using her council staff status to demand special activities for her troop that weren't part of the program that week, such as horseback riding.   So while she was so adamant about me following the rules, she was waltzing around camp forcing staff to bend the rules for her.

Luckily our paths didn't cross and I managed to avoid her.  I never did meet her, but it was amazing how many people I heard talking about her, so obviously I'm not the only one she's given trouble to.

Camp was wonderful for my 4 girls.  It was everything it should be.  As you can see from the photos, the girls enjoyed canoeing, archery, swimming, climbing, parachute games, crafts, hiking, geocaching, and far too many silly skits and songs. 

As expected in a large camp, the food was terrible.  They served chicken 3 nights in a row, and on the 3rd night I witnessed 2 girls vomiting after dinner, and at breakfast the next morning heard of several more that had lost it in the night.  Thankfully my girls and I had rejected the chicken that night and just eaten the white rice, and none of us got sick.  I guess it's not an authentic summer camp experience without a little food poisoning thrown in.

Camp was bittersweet for us because it was goodbye in a way.  After being a leader of two troops for several years, I am burned out.  My unpleasant experience with council leading up to this camp was not the first time I'd had trouble from council.  In A's troop a parent attacked the other leader and when we sought assistance from council they turned the tables on us and pretty much destroyed the troop after 5 harmonious years.  A parent was unhappy, therefore a leader must be at fault.  It didn't matter that the leaders came to council for help in the first place, or that other parents were worried about the safety of their daughters around said unhappy parent.  Again, the council person went by their rule book without looking at the big picture or trying to find a solution.  

There's also major change happening in Girl Scouts.  Councils have been consolidated, camp properties are being shut down and sold off, girls and volunteers are quitting, and the Girl Scouting program is being totally overhauled by the national organization.    

I've been following the chatter on the Girl Scout leader newsgroups, and I'm not sure I want to lead with the new programming.  In the past girls had dozens of interest and proficiency badges to choose from, but now there will be less than 20 per level.  New handbooks will cost $22.00 per girl,and as a leader you're required to have the girls complete a "Journey" book (which costs additional $7 per girl).  We tried the "Journey" book two years ago and the girls hated it.  It was busy work, a lot of writing and reading silly stories, with little practical application.  The girls said it was "like school and homework." 

Overall, Girl Scouts is pulling away from traditional pursuits, and trying to capitalize on trends and technology.  Outdoor skills are being phased out, selling cookies by text and tweet are now encouraged.  The Girl Scout store is filled with trinkets and jewelry, and gadgets and new things you're required to buy (like the Journey books) in order to earn awards.  

I've stepped down as a troop leader, but both of my daughters will remain registered independent scouts for at least another year.  Little K will attend 2 weeks of Girl Scout summer camp (sharing two counselors with 15 other girls for that 8 to 1 ratio). When the new materials come out in the fall I will look them over.  If the girls have interest, we'll try the new program.  I'll still be involved in our service unit, maintaining their website, and assisting with some events.   

Whether or not I return to camp again with my daughters remains to be seen.  I guess I have a year to find that 2nd registered Girl Scout adult who can accompany me.

Growing Up Conversations

As the girls get older we're having more and more deep conversations.  This past week A was having sex-ed at school as part of the 5th grade health curriculum.  As you can imagine, this topic brought up lots of questions, even though I'd already taken her to a "girls growing up" class at the local hospital, provided an array of educational books on the subject, and had open discussions with her all along.

While we were in the car last Thursday a question came to me from the back seat: "Mommy, what's the difference between 'straight' and 'gay' again?"  So I explained, using the terms hetero-, homo-, and bi-.

"Well, I'm definitely straight, Mommy," said A, "because I get all shy and happy when "S" talks to me, but I still want to marry "H" someday, because I've loved him since I was in Kindergarten."

As usual when her sister makes a statement, Little K was not to be outdone so she immediately piped up, "Well, I'm bisexual."  

I wasn't too surprised at this sudden statement, because often Little K will take the opposite of whatever her sister has chosen just to be competitive, as if somehow her choice is the better one.  I've always found this type of rivalry curious, since my expectation is that they'd fight over the same thing, but it's been going on this way for years.

I explained to the girls that during puberty it's very normal to be attracted to both sexes, but usually by the time you are an adult you know for sure who you are and what you really like.  A confirmed that this is what her teacher had said, also.

"But I know I'm bi-," argued Little K, "because why would I want only half the people in the world to pick from?  Maybe the perfect person for me is a girl, and I would miss her if I was only looking at boys."

Hard to argue with that reasoning!

Then had to explain how even though our family is accepting of others, not everyone has the same outlook.  Some people believe that anything but hetero- is immoral and illegal.  Just like some people feel strongly that people of different races shouldn't marry, and there used to be laws against it.  I reminded the girls that just a few generations ago it was still legal for people to own slaves in the South, and when my grandma was born women weren't allowed to vote.  I reminded them of the civil rights era, and told them that gay people are having their own struggles to gain acceptance and rights to marry, and all the benefits that come from that, like tax breaks, access to a partner's health insurance, and ability to legally adopt children.  I told them that some people feel very strongly that being gay is a "lifestyle choice" that can be changed, although I disagree, and I believe that most who are gay are born that way, and nothing can change it.  Some people feel their religious beliefs justify their persecution of others, and they somehow have permission to attack others in the name of God.   I reminded the girls that belittling others is not acceptable behavior, no matter what. As they go into middle and high school the girls will hear other kids cracking jokes and making derogatory statements about gay people, and accusing other kids of being gay, and I told them very clearly that they should not participate in such harassment. 

"What if someone publicly accused you of being something you're not?  Telling all your friends that you did something embarrassing that you didn't really do?  How would that make you feel?"

"Or what if you were teased continuously about something that you couldn't change about yourself, like the giant birthmark you have (little K), or that special challenge (that you have, A)?  How would you like something personal and private passed around school, and kids you didn't even know laughing at you?  How would that make you feel?"

We wrapped up our conversation with my having to tell Little K that even though she felt she was "Bi-," not only should she give it time and remain open minded, but she shouldn't announce it to others, especially at school.  I don't want her to feel shame, but I want her to be safe, especially during childhood.  Kids can be cruel, even more so if they come from families that condone the condemning of others who don't share their beliefs.

I'm getting more and more nervous about A heading to middle school in the Fall.  I hope I'll be up to all the talks we'll inevitably be having about bullying, relationships, latest-gadget-must-haves, cheating on schoolwork, stealing, exclusion, jealousy, and rejection.  It's coming.  Change is coming.

 

Today they are little girls riding in the back seat of the car, full of curiosity and optimism.  Before I know it they will be women. 

Flashback Friday -- Succulents

 
Every February I make a trip to the nurseries and tropical plant stores in search of succulents. When the weather outside is grey, miserable, damp, and dark, my dish gardens of succulents remind me of my time in the desert when I was 19.  During that year I struggled to find my place in the world, didn't always have enough to eat or a roof over my head, but living in the desert the sun always shone and I was surrounded by plants that defied the odds and survived harsh conditions.  Their strength, as well as their intricate beauty and ability to adapt, inspired me.

Although my dish gardens of succulents reside near a window where I don't often see them, I water them on schedule and inspect them carefully, rotating them as they grow toward the light.  One might think they're neglected, but really they thrive on solitude.  The succulents remind me of a time in my life that was dark emotionally, but bright with potential.  It's fitting that in the darkness of winter when I might be feeling blue, when I miss working outside in my garden, that I can turn to my succulent gardens for encouragement.

I used to keep them in a north facing window (pictured above) with my grandfather's shell and glass float collection, but they didn't do well in the winter, so they now live near a south facing window where the winter sun can induce their growth and blooming.  

The February re-potting ritual is one the girls look forward to almost as much as I do.  We buy a few new specimens to replace those that have passed, trim the ones that are leggy, wash the pots thoroughly, use fresh soil, and create new arrangements.  It's a great way to begin the gardening season, and dream of warmer, sunnier days ahead!

This picture is of Little K at age 3, helping me with the repotting, and dreaming of warmer days ahead.  

Snowshoeing

A good sign: It's nice to see that the great outdoors is "open" today!

A's New Year's resolution was to try snowshoeing, therefore mine was to make it happen for her.  On the 8th day of the New Year, we made our trek to the mountains to try snowshoes during "Winter Trails Day," an event where vendors of outdoor equipment come with their demo fleet of gear for you to try out.  Of course the hope is that you'll discover a new sport and want to buy all the gear, and they're more than happy to provide coupons and point you toward the stores that stock their goods.

We got to try several different models, from racing snowshoes to ones designed for really deep snow.  We had fun tromping through the forest following the fresh tracks of elk, rabbits, and deer.  It had snowed abundantly the night before, and while we were there we had patches of blue sky between light snow fall.

The girls are hooked and really enjoyed it. I had to be carefull as my knee had been hurting all week, and the uneven terrain associated with snowshoeing was really risky for injuring myself further.  I went more slowly than I would have liked, making sure my footing was secure before placing my full weight on my right leg and taking the next step.

K explored a little snowcave that some boys made, and we thought they had left, but after a time they returned and were not happy to see that in K's attempt to make it bigger, she collapsed it.

Little K had fun snapping these photos with her new camera, that she used Christmas and birthday money combined to buy on the day after Christmas.  It's a nice little pocket digital, and all these photos were taken on the "snow" setting.  Overall it handled the severely bright conditions pretty well, though a few frames were too blue or over/under exposed.

Both girls (and my husband) are back on the slopes downhill skiing, but snowshoeing opens a new world of adventure for our entire family to do together.  I don't downhill ski, so this chance to be out in the snow with my girls means a lot to me.  Now if I could just get my bum knee to cooperate!